Don't copy if you can't paste!

A popular motivational speaker was entertaining his audience. Said he:
"The best years of my life were spent in the arms of a woman who wasn't my
wife!"

The audience was in silence and shock.
The speaker added: "And that woman was my mother!"
Laughter and applause.

A week later, a top manager trained by the motivational speaker tried to
crack this very effective joke at home. He was a bit foggy after a drink.

He said loudly, "The greatest years of my life were spent in the arms of a
woman who was not my wife!"
The wife went wan with shock and rage.
Standing there for 20 seconds trying to recall the second half of the
joke, the manager finally blurted out "... and I can't remember who she
was!"

Moral of the story:
Don't copy if you can't paste!

Fw: Kabhi Chakkar Aye Hein???

Fw: Gita Saransh......

Fw: Funny Life - Funny thoughts

"U love someone
U marry someone else..

The one u marry
becomes ur wife or husband

And the one u loved
becomes the password of ur mail id"

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There's only one perfect child in the world & every mother has it.

There's only one perfect wife in the world & every neighbor has it.

---------------

Three dreams of a man:


To be as handsome as his mother thinks.

To be as rich as his child believes.
To have as many women as his wife suspects...

---------------


Husband & wife are like liver and kidney. Husband is the liver & wife
the kidney.

If the liver fails, the kidney fails. If the kidney fails, the liver
manages with other kidney.

---------------

Generation Next Motto: Na hum shaadi karenge, na apne bachchon ko
karne denge..

---------------

What's the diff between Dava & Daru?

Dava is like a girlfriend, that comes with an expiry date and

Daru is like a wife, Jitni purani hogi utna sir chad ke bolegi.

---------------

Wife ko Begum kyu kehte hain?

Kyonki shaadi ke baad saare gum to husband ke hisse mein aate hain or

wife Be-Gum ho jaati hai.

Fw: HUM TUM... Nice one...

Fw: Side effects of alcohol ... and remedies!!!

Side effects of alcohol ... and remedies!!!

1. Symptom: Cold and humid feet.
Cause : Glass is being held at incorrect angle (You are pouring the
drink on your feet).

Cure: Maneuver glass until open end is facing upward

2. Symptom :
The wall facing you is full of lights.
Cause: You're lying on the floor.

Cure: Position your body at a 90-degree angle to the floor.

3. Symptom: The floor looks blurry.
Cause : You're looking through an empty glass.

Cure: Quickly refill with your favorite beverage.

4. Symptom: The floor is moving.
Cause: You're being dragged away.

Cure: At least ask where they're taking you.

5. Symptom: You hear echoes every time someone speaks.
Cause : You have your glass on your ear.

Cure: Stop making a fool of yourself!

6. Symptom: The room is shaking a lot, everyone is dressed in white and
the music is very repetitive.
Cause: You're in an ambulance.

Cure: Don't move. Let the professionals do their job.

7. Symptom : Your dad and all your
brothers are looking funny.
Cause : You're in the wrong house.

Cure: Ask if they can point you to your house.

Cheers!!!!!!!!!!!!

Fwd: Aur Batao Syndrome - 99% Software Engg suffering

Aur Batao Syndrome : Guess we all r suffering frm it.. : Conversation between 2 software engg Friends: : Sw1---hello : SW2---hi : Sw1---hey h r u??? : SW2---m fine!!! Wht abt u??? : SW1---m fine too : SW2---cool : SW1---so howz life??? : SW2--gud : SW1--hmmmm : SW1--aur batao? ( passing the ball to the other side) : SW2--hmmm everything as usual : SW2--so wht else??? : SW1--nothing much : SW2--ok : SW2--aur batao? ( passing the ball to the other side) : And it goes on like this until they give up : : Are u also having such conversation with ur frnds, then I guess u r also suffering from aur batao syndrome It means ur life is all screwed up following the usual monotonous routine. : : Probably u need a change in ur life something which is exciting,something which is adventurous, something which really makes u feel gud : : Correct???? : yeh sab to thik hai : AUR BATAO :-)

__._,_.___

Fwd: Is it true?? Demand from Men and Women

How to Keep a Woman Happy


It's not difficult?

All you have to do is to be:

1. A friend

2. A companion

3. A lover

4. A brother

5. A father

6. A master

7. A chef

8. An electrician

9. A carpenter

10. A plumber

11. A mechanic

12. A decorator

13. A stylist

14. A gynecologist

15. A psychologist

16. A pest exterminator

17. A psychiatrist

18. A healer

19. A good listener

20. An organizer

21. A good father

22. Very clean

23. Sympathetic

24. Athletic

25. Warm

26. Attentive

27. Gallant

28. Intelligent

29. Funny

30. Creative

31. Tender

32. Strong

33. Understanding

34. Tolerant

35. Prudent

36. Ambitious

37. Capable

38. Courageous

39. Determined

40. True

41. Dependable

42. Passionate

WITHOUT FORGETTING TO:

43. Give her compliments regularly

44. Love shopping

45. Be honest

46. Be very rich

47. Not stress her out

48. Not look at other girls


AND AT THE SAME TIME, YOU MUST ALSO:

49. Give her lots of attention, but expect little yourself

50. Give her lots of time, especially time for herself

51. Give her lots of space, never worrying about where she goes


IT IS VERY IMPORTANT NOT TO FORGET:

52. Birthdays

53. Anniversaries

54. Arrangements she makes


Just merely 54 demands ? J




HOW TO MAKE A MAN HAPPY!!! :

1. Leave him in peace

2. Feed him well.

3. Let him have the remote control.

Oh my god 3 demands ? L

Men.... What a demanding creature!!!

Fwd: Civil Engineer - Innovation

If you are not able to figure out the problem in the above picture than you are the biggest genius.

Fwd: Funny Translations English -> Hindi

Have a nice day! ------> Achcha din lo! What's up? ------------ >Uppar kya hai? You're kidding! -------->Tum bachcha bana rahe ho! Don't kid me! ---------> Mera bachcha mut banaao! Yo, baby! What's up? --> Beti Yo, uppar kya hai? Cool man! -------------> Thandaa aadmi! Don't mess with me, dude.-----> Mere saath gandagee mat karo, e yakti. She's so fine! --------> Woh itnee baareek hai! Listen buddy, that chick's mine, okay!?-----> Suno dost, woh choozaa mera hai, theek? Are you nuts? ---------> Kya aap akhrot hain? And the best ones are..... How do you do? --------> Kaise karte ho? Keep in touch.......... >Chhoote Raho .

Re: Letter from Ludhiana School boy! - nice one must read

The Principal,

Bela School,
Ludhiana

Sir,

Binti eh hai ki aj kal school vich dil nahi lagda te raat nu neend nahi andi kyonki school vich kudiyan ghat ne, jo hai oh sab eniyan ajeeb ne ki dekhan nu ji ni karda.Te madama v koih khas ptaka nahi haan.Hor ni koch taan receptionist hi sohni rakh lavo taa ki nave bache admission laan leyyee motivate ho sakan .

Aap ji da bahut dhanwadi howanga.

Your faithfully,
Boys Association